A Borrowed Life

This post doesn’t mean to offend or to promote insensitivity, rather, this is a reaction to the recent happenings in my life.

It was an awfully sad evening last night. I passed by my mom’s house and while getting some of my food ‘rations’ from her, she told me out of the blue that her head was aching because of Mrs Alonto whom I fondly call Tita [aunt] Bing. She’s one of my mom’s best friends/former co-teachers. I was expecting a follow up story about Tita Bing’s usual jokes that you’d laugh so hard you could really have a headache. She’s that kind of person who’s so funny that you’d have a minor stroke when she’s on the roll! But my mom did not have a funny story. I asked her why the headache? And she told me, she passed away. She was so shocked to know about it on Facebook because they were even planning on meeting when my parents go home for good which is soon. There were no explanations about her death. We did not know how she died although she has a chronic disease. We fear it might be COVID? Regardless, the sadness is as much.

Tita Bing was one of the kindest and most generous friends of mommy. She would joke around and would tell me whom not to date. There was an ex-boyfriend whom she loved as her student but did not like for me. She said I was too nice for him.  I told her why would she like him as a person but not for me. She told me he’s crazy, in a loving way. Not in such a way that he would take offense for. She was a riot!

She would always give us food, or always think about us whenever there are events. She favored us a lot. It was easy to love her.

I am not sure how mom feels right now. I hope she is okay. There’s this weird vibe when a person close to you passes on and I hope mommy would get pass that. I don’t like getting paranoid about one’s mortality because that paranoia lingers and dwells and we can get depressed.

A day before learning about Tita Bing’s death was another death of a schoolmate. We were not formally acquainted. He may have known me to be the daughter of my mom who was his teacher and he definitely knew my husband. He had the most handsome face. I believe he was once an actor in GMA-7 and was one of the Prince Charming’s of Rochelle Pangilinan. I am not certain how he died but he was so young. He’s probably only 34 or 35. Sudden deaths like this is quite devastating. Although we weren’t close at all, his death had such an impact to me.

This makes me revisit my stand on celebrating life amidst the pandemic. We think twice if we are to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, thanksgiving… etc… we feel guilty about how we’re living the life during this plague, but why?

We fear to be deemed insensitive.

We are heartbroken for the loss of lives of thousands. We are with you in prayers. We feel for the families, the bereaved. We truly cry with you and we too have felt the significant impact of COVID.

BUT we are alive! And I am grateful! Living is such a privilege.

And all these happenings, the plagues, pandemic, the worsening strains of COVID, these are still around & we don’t hold the future.

I will live in the now & celebrate occasions with loved ones. Because who knows? This could be the last one I can celebrate.

Compassion is not by depriving ourselves of joyfulness. There are more active & beneficial ways to show that we care.

We can start with our local soup kitchen, shelters, Bahay-Kalinga (for distressed OFWs in Riyadh), and by feeding the hungry.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

—James 1:2-4

Photo Source: Stephanie Cullen Snyder (Pinterest)