Please Don’t Take, My Sunshine Away

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away – This song was declared to be one of the state songs of Louisiana.

The first photo is of the three of us some time recently & the second one was in 2013! I miss the feeling of being able to carry Brook on my lap. Now, I’d die to even attempt doing that.

Yesterday, Brook has done something naughty ending up breaking something I specifically told him not to break. From the time I was buying that from the store, I knew that the moment he’s sees that particular thing, it will only take some time before he asks me if he can use it. And he did, of course. I told him to be careful and I have demonstrated twice the way to use it. It’s an office tool, quite user friendly. He shrieked in excitement,

“Yes! I was able to do it!”

He called me and showed me and it was indeed a success until few minutes later, maybe 5 if I am being generous. He forced the tape and of course, it broke. It was cheap. But I bought it for a purpose. It’s one of the things I need for our homeschooling. His father saw us arguing and of course, he talked to him. His words were always scarier than mine. It’s the fact that I have predicted that he’d break it & that made me a little mad. I mean, can’t he just prove me wrong, for once?

Brook is a big boy now. He doesn’t cry when being scolded. He has this rough expression like he was challenging us with such a hardcore stare. I don’t know why he’s become like that. He knew he’d get into more trouble by doing that, and yet he still does it.

Later that evening: Ok, Brook has some eczema break outs on the soles of his feet these days. In this regard, either me or my husband would give him a hot foot bath so his eczema would soften before we apply the prescribed cream. Whenever they do that, I always go to the bathroom and we sing the song, ‘Party in the Elevator’.

To my disappointment when I entered, they were very quiet and nobody sang with me. Apparently, he was still in trouble because of what happened during the class. I feel so bad because I had to be so loud! My husband could not have heard it if I wasn’t so loud earlier.

After resting, we managed to do our own things. I was watching Felicity, Brook was playing Roblox and my husband was in the kitchen brewing something probably.

I called Brooklyn since he just took a shower and I hugged him and sang You are my sunshine. Then I felt that he was silently crying because I can feel the tears on my arm.

I asked him why he was crying and he explained that he didn’t sing Party in the Elevator with me in the bathroom because he was scared that I still hate him. I told him that I cannot ever hate him; I can be pissed or slightly mad at him but not hate. He cried even more and I felt so bad for making him feel that way.

I can’t believe how big he’s become and yet, he is still as sweet as a baby. He indeed is my sunshine and my only sunshine!

Incidentally, Julianne of 3YellowDaisies has tagged me for a Sunshine Blogger Award! I super appreciate her always remembering me. Not only is she thoughtful, she is an amazing writer too. Check out her wonderful stories, they’re totally worth your time!

For the rules and questions… please click ME and the below are my answers to her questions.

What is the main Purpose of my blog: Before I have re-branded my blog. I have carefully decided whether I will continue with my initial plan to focus on homeschooling or to be a lifestyle blog focusing on mommyhood. The term momshie became popular in the Philippines. It is a whimsical way to refer to mommies (adapted from the Filipino gay lingo). Sometimes, a more informal address that can be useful according to situation.

What’s an ideal day for me? is a well-rested one having good amount of sleep with poreless skin. Something about being able to do things for myself and sharing good food with family. I have a similar blog about this here.

What motivates me? I am motivated by LOVE. The things I do, I do it because I want Brook to be comfortable and happy – because I love him. But doing all this without the guidance from the Lord is useless. I see to it that God is glorified in everything that I do and every choices that I make. I know that I may stumble (all the time) and I tend to fall down, but the Lord will uphold me with His hands.

How do I deal with STRESS? By praying. These days, I am super stressed because of the pressing problem that we have but I wake up in the middle of the night and pray on it. I pray to the Lord to take care of us and guide us. I am praying that He touches the hands of whomever can help us in the situation we’re in because we cannot do it without divine intervention… plus, I also pray for Him to put me back to sleep. I am so stressed that my face is full of pores but I praise God that despite all this, He still gives me the comfort I need.

What makes me happy? Seeing my family happy makes me happy. Specifically whenever my husband does not have TN attacks and Brook is healthy and my parents, sisters and my niece are fine — I couldn’t ask for more!

My opinion on bucket list. I haven’t thought of this until now. For real, I don’t have a bucket list but whenever I am asked what’s the top destination on my travel bucket list, I always say, ‘Switzerland’ — I never really have a list of things to-do before I die because what if I die young & what if it’s a sudden death? I feel that’s unfair because I haven’t gotten a lot of time to fulfill my list and I would end up with lots of unchecked boxes. I am conflicted. I don’t want to have a bucket list. But I will live my life according to how God commissioned me to be and I will live joyfully according to His will. I think, I will be satisfied and will lack nothing. Psalm 23.

Do I want to make lots of money doing a job I hate or make less for something I love? I cannot ever make money from something I hate. I will end up paying for my mistakes i.e. when I was crazily assigned to collect money from patients (way outside my JD). I hate money collection, recording and balancing. I hate asking money from the sick. I ended up paying for a patient’s 3 dialysis sessions because I was too embarrassed to guilt trip people into paying a billion-dollar company 1200 USD just because the patient’s insurance expired (I know that they have to pay for the service but collecting money from the poor and sick is not my cup of tea). But if you ask me if I would do something I don’t quite enjoy, but do not necessarily hate, YES. I am willing to choose that over happiness. I can be happy after work. I just can’t be miserable.

If I’ve got unlimited money, what business would I venture? Hmmm, if money won’t be an issue, I don’t think I’d need to run a business. Perhaps I will start a school free for all. The school will cater the children’s needs from food to education and shelter if need be. I have been praying to be rich so I can make things happen. But frankly, we can make things happen despite our meager income. Click me.

If I can live anywhere in the world where would I live? I would choose to live in Canada. Does PM Justin Trudeau read blogs? I so want to move to Canada because of how my Canadian relatives and friends rave about how peaceful and relaxed their lives are. I love how they have achieved a well-balanced life; being modern and being so zen at the same time. I love how they are family centered and are big on togetherness. Plus, healthcare is better than most countries that give PR.

A movie that you can watch over and over? By the time we’re in Canada (thanks to PM Trudeau), for sure, we wouldn’t immediately have connectivity; we’re likely going to be stuck with our old movie files for a month but thankfully, I can watch Bring it On: All or Nothing; this is the one starring Hayden Panettiere and Solange. I like it because it was focusing on dance and it was more intense than the other Bring It Ons.

Name a fictional character whom you’d love to be roommates with? The character whom I’d love to be roommates with is Felicity. My friends would mock me about our similarities having all my Felicity-type problems and issues — the as if “I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulder” type. I know my friends from college were at one point exhausted by my incessant whining about problems that were not necessarily ‘real’ (for them). I am totally curious to see how they see me as a friend. I would love to be Felicity’s friend to see if I am really that insufferable, hahaha!

Thanks for the wonderful questions. I would like to invite everyone to answer my questions as well (if you’re up to it!) especially, if you haven’t yet. You can see the questions here: Click ME

This has gotten long huh?!! But this new WordPress editor is killing me. I don’t know how to deal and navigate through it.

And oh! It’s apparently 37 degrees C in Riyadh today and it’s supposed to be cloudy (with a chance of meatballs?) I hope it doesn’t rain though.

“Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.” – 1 Chronicles 16:10

38 thoughts on “Please Don’t Take, My Sunshine Away

      1. I know, you if you want to edit a spelling then CRTL+x then you can do it then paste it, if we don’t then it just replaces the word, I have now started to type in word or canva and then pasting it on the draft its way more easier

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Thank you for your kind words about my blogs, it’s always amazing hearing someone say they love my blog. I loved reading your answering, and learning more about you. It’s my pleasure to nominate you, and your blog. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for taking the time to read and drop a comment… I appreciate your thoughts… my son has his father’s manly actions but he’s got my heart ❤ so we're both a little over dramatic hahaha! Thanks a lot!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Aww, I can’t believe your son thought you hated him. Poor guy. 😢 I already feel extremely bad when my three-month-old cries and screams. I can’t even imagine how bad I’d feel in the situation you encountered. Can my daughter just stay little forever?

    It was great getting to know you more through those questions!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read such a long blog post!!! Hahaha!!

      I know. It is hard to be a mother right?! All those feelings we feel! Unimaginable! I wasn’t even talking about giving birth at all…

      I was so heartbroken having felt his tears. I can’t believe he’d ever think that.

      I understand how you feel about your daughter when she cries and screams. I only had one and he was a baby some time ago so I kinda forgot some of the experiences… I am definitely no expert on this aspect of motherhood because I only got to try once… but I can imagine not knowing what to do and feeling anxious all the time. It was so hard when we aren’t able to alleviate the feeling… you’d just end up crying with your baby…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. There are a lot of challenges of being a mother that no one really prepares you for. No matter how much we mentally, emotionally, and physically try to prepare ourselves for what’s ahead, life seems to enjoy throwing us curveballs to keep us on our toes.

        I’m not even sure how I’ll be able to process my daughter’s emotions when she’s older. I feel that in general, girls tend to be more emotional. Even now, at such a young age, my daughter wears her thoughts and emotions on her face; she’s very expressive. I can’t even imagine how it will be during her tween/teen years. I, myself, am an empath, so I connect with others’ emotional states and feel what they’re feeling. It can be a great trait, especially when working with my patients, but can also become emotionally draining, especially when those closest to you aren’t in their best emotional state.

        Although you only have one child, it doesn’t make you any less of an “expert” of motherhood. You’re an expert of your own child. Out of everyone around, you and your husband know your child the most, understand him, and can cater to his needs best. As parents, we continue to grow and learn with our children. I can only hope and pray that I continue to do the best job I can as a mother and learn from my experiences.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. You will do great for sure!
          I was just talking about this topic with my husband earlier today because my niece seemed to be enjoying a lot of educational shows like CocoMelon. I told my husband that I think I made a mistake by making Brook watch a lot of fun things… like FG TV and Julian and Maya instead of sticking to purely educational ones…. Although we were keen on his learning, we were also kind of playful as a family so there were lots of games involved in our lives… Seeing how differently the 2 of them has developed (age and milestoneswise) I do question myself sometimes…

          But yes, it all depends on how we are as people… I am the fun daughter and my sister (the mom of my niece) although younger than me is the more strict and cautious one… so it’s expected that she would impose more discipline than I do…
          Being an empath is really good… I mean although it’s emotionally exhausting at times, it’s still a gift to impart care and compassion when needed…

          To be honest, I prayed for a boy because we’re 3 girls in the family… I am the eldest and the youngest was born when I was already a teenager. I feel frustrated to see her grow up…she is a piece of work. I got scared to have a girl and suffer…. LOL

          BUT….

          I was thinking like a sister & motherhood is way different according to my mom… and I did not realize that!!! My mom has expressed nothing but delight having the 3 of us girls…

          You and your daughter will do great!!! Of course, your husband too!

          Like

          1. It’s always interesting to see everyone’s parenting styles. My husband and I said we wouldn’t introduce screen time until the age of 2, but how do you avoid it when you’re watching a show and caring for your baby at the same time? I’ve been binge watching Grey’s Anatomy and our daughter is extremely attracted to all the surgery scenes. We joke and say she’ll be performing surgery before she walks! 😂

            As humans, we naturally compare ourselves to others, but I think we do it in such a toxic way that we doubt our question ourselves rather than take the opportunity to learn and see new perspectives. I hope you’re not too hard on yourself when you see how your son is compared to your niece. You’re doing things your way. I honestly plan on being the fun and cool mom too. 😎

            I’ve always heard that when you have a daughter, they’ll be like you, if not worse, as a teenager. Oh, boy! I wasn’t bad, but I was definitely stubborn and had an attitude. We’ll see how that goes!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Although I have only known you through your articles… I feel kind of certain that you’d do great as a mom… & besides, you seem to have done well as a daughter — as a student!

              I love Grey’s Anatomy! I would love for my son to enjoy it too. But he’s too masculine for that kind of drama hahaha.

              You are right! As long as our kids grow to be the good ones… it should be an enough testament that we have done right!! ❤

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Aww, thank you so much! That truly means a lot to me, especially as a new mom.

                Omg, I’m already on season 12 and I started a little over two weeks ago. 🙈

                Yes, as long as our kids are the good ones, we have achieved our goals as parents. 😁

                Liked by 1 person

  3. Your family story is so sweet. It is hard to be a child and a parent. I love how tender that scene was where you sang to him and he told you why he was crying. I hope you maintain this openness until your son grows up. I hope he is able to always tell you when he is hurting, afraid, or insecure. It is such a wonderful thing for a child to be able to do that. And congratulations on the award. If these are actual trophies, you won’t have space on your living area.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha. That’s true Micah. I think they appreciate people who give time to answer their questions. Honestly, it helps me build ideas because sometimes, I do ran out of it and since my day starts late, I get bored most mornings (I work for the stock market and it doesn’t open early here) answering these tags makes me enjoy my time…

      Same thoughts… I really wish he will keep that kind of relationship with me. With kids these days, you’d never know what they’re really thinking so I really do pray he’d keep me on the loop always…

      I remember one time, I was watching The Sopranos and he accidentally saw a stripper dancing. He reacted like his eyes got burnt… and has been so careful when entering the room since. I love when he is like that…

      Like

      1. I suppose the more open you are with him, the less inhibited he will be. His openness will also depend largely on how you react when he says stuff, no? I suppose we are all like that. When we feel heard and understood, we tend to open up more. How many times have I said open already? Haha. I cannot imagine what it is like to have children. You and are all the mothers I know are amazing.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I believe so. The good thing (I guess) is both me and Kaiser are playful… I believe it slows down our getting older… so albeit the significant age gap with Brook (since we had him a little late than others) we still manage to level with one another and oh, by the way, some of our friends here I believe are old enough to be my kids hahaha! Someone told me on the thread that ‘oh I liked it because my mom is an avid fan’ lol— I still get shocked sometimes lollllllll

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          1. Agree. Young at heart, but I think what matters most is that we chose to keep growing and maturing regardless of age. There is no ceiling for what we can become. And oh, I think you should take that as a compliment!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I know what you mean… my parents took their masters degree when they were 55… never too late to learn!

              Although we were kind of asking them why!!! 🤣I mean, because they were about to retire…& the reason why they haven’t yet is because they didn’t wanna leave us here and decided to maximize their stay.

              I believe me and hubby have grown a lot this year. We’ve had a lot of problems (still has) and it totally took a toll on me, but together— we are thriving and I believe we are handling it better than how we thought we would..

              Like

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