When it comes to your friends, your spouse, your significant other, or members of your family, is it better to confront them about things they say or do that bother or upset you or is it better to try to ignore those things in order to maintain peace in your relationship?Fandango
My being not confrontational is both a gift and a curse.
I don’t confront people all the time because I am tired of so many things. I hate arguments and I am resigned to fighting.
My husband is a difficult person. It is hard to reason with him because he has anger issues. He is the kindest person you’d meet / know and he would serve you to death but I guess everyone has their own damages and anger is his. Over the years, I have learned that keeping quiet and being the one who would apologize all the time is the key to our lasting relationship, but there are days that I reconsider my stance. I believe the way I react makes him worse because he wasn’t able to see his mistakes… he was unable to learn and grow. I limited his personal growth by trying to keep the peace.
I wasn’t generally a nice person. In fact, I was highly notorious in our neighborhood for being confrontational, argumentative and perhaps you’d find a couple of witnesses that would attest to my being able to physically hurt someone in a fight (I was young once, okay?) but people change. I am not like that anymore. I learned to stop myself from reacting. My husband’s temper has changed the game for me. It was a struggle to keep quiet because most of the time, I am in a suppressed rage and I literally feel like I am having a heart attack.
Like what my sister would say, my passive aggressiveness is radioactive… I wish we can both change.
At the end of it all, I lift it all unto GOD, because only HIM can change both our perspectives. He can make me grow in such a way that will complement my husband without my having to sacrifice parts of me. I continuously pray for my husband to have a broader understanding of things and that I will understand him more instead of just resigning to the fact that I hate arguments— therefore, losing my voice forever. I surrender everything unto GOD.