Isolation Day 9: Of Deaths & Realizations

Two of my aunts have passed away. This is the saddest thing being away. You don’t get to mourn with family. My mom would video chat with me about it as she cannot visit given our current situation— we’re all saddened by what we’ve heard from the Philippines.

One of the 2 aunts is actually the wife of my uncle. Does it matter that she’s an in-law? Definitely no. She was as related to us as my uncle. She’s already in the family when I was a young kid, perhaps when I was around 2 or 3?

My uncles sent my widowed uncle home with one of my cousins. Told him to have a quick shower while the siblings prepare for the funeral— my uncle according to my cousin went to the bathroom and came out with a towel on. He was disoriented— crying. He didn’t know from which cabinet he gets his good clothes as it’s always been his wife doing that ever since.

It was a heartbreaking scene and I can imagine.

I began to think how dependent are we on our husbands/wives? Are we gonna be lost without our partners? Are we going to be able to continue living? How do we function as the only living parent?

It is hard. I cannot even think about this.

It pains me to imagine that my uncle had to undergo such loss and we’re just hearing about it from afar. We cannot even offer comfort. I know that he is surrounded by family, from both sides and I know that despite him being distant as a person— & his wife kept him glued to our family, he will remain loved.

We’re still in isolation and my husband is still on extreme pain, but given the situation above, who are we to complain or be sad about our situation. I am taking a break to be thankful.

We are grateful for living & we are so sorry for those who are deeply hurting.

19 thoughts on “Isolation Day 9: Of Deaths & Realizations

  1. May your family be comforted by the faith that this world is not the end. Indeed death does not wipe away influence from the inspiration left by our loved ones who have departed. I’m so sorry for your pain.

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  2. Those questions you pose, I am frankly amazed to hear them come from somebody so young. They are all valid questions but I think many people don’t address them until far older.

    For me, it kinda brought marriage into perspective, It might well be the person we frolic with when we’re younger, but ultimately it is the person who is going to nurse us when we are terminally ill. I’m sorry, way deeper than I like to be on here, but you started it!

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    1. You are right Pete, the person we marry is the person who will stay with us til the end… that’s why we are lucky to have found people who love us through thick and thin… believe me, despite my being young, my husband has had his share of caregiving as I used to get hospitalized a lot… i cant imagine us from courtship, to young couplehood, and to being sickly…

      I think we start thinking about this as soon as we learn to love others more than we love ourselves… My mom was in her mid 30s too when she started babbling about death and how she is making me learn things to prepare me for when she is gone… she never got sick or anything back then but she was crying whenever i was stubborn and won’t listen because apparently, all her teachings were for me… i never got it til I got hospitalized for the first time for hypokalemia and it took a week for my potassium to be back to normal and got discharged… all those time in the hospital, i was thinking about mortality and what would have happened to my husband and son had i not woken up when my potassium dropped so low…

      I just can’t help thinking about how my uncle didn’t know where his clothes are… he’s only 53 and is still so young to face death of a loved one…

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            1. It is cathartic to write indeed, but a little difficult to articulate. Sometimes, I’d write something about this topic long enough to bore people, yet I will discard because I am not sure whether I am sending the actual message across.

              Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry you’re going through this, I’m sure it’s difficult. Always remember the happy memories you had with them to help you heal the pain. ❤️

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